yet again

I had another reminder the other day about living life for me.

I was talking to Zack, one of the guys on the baseball team a couple of days ago and he shared a quote with me that really impressed me.

He said:

"He who makes a beast of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man."

In other words, live your life and stop living up to what others want and more for what you want.

Thanks again Zack! :]

this one's for me

Lately, I've been trying figure out ME. Trying to figure out why I feel like I'm so alone. Why I don't feel like fighting anymore. Why I'm tired of depending on others.

I still haven't figured any of this out...but what I do know is that I'm not letting others tear me down anymore and that I'm tired of trying to be who I used to be just because others want me to be the 'old allison'. Well, that's too darn bad...because I'm sick of it and this is the end.

I was talking to a friend, Janai Rhodes tonight. She just had her official last day of high school and we got on the topic of friends and how most of our friends are underclassmen and much younger than us. I told her that we're both very much alike, except for the fact that I don't even talk to those who I consider the best of my best friends anymore...mainly because others don't want me to. People like my mom...and Alex. Alex said that me still hanging out with the high school students was a main reason as to why she started "distancing" herself from me.

Janai said something to me that kinda stuck with me...

"I figure if people are meant to stay in my life, they just will. It shouldn't take so much effort."

I've come to a conclusion...that I'm no longer going to let my mom, or Alex, tell me who I can and can't be friends with. And, I'm no longer going to put so much energy and effort into trying to be friends with people when it just seems like they don't want to be a part of it. Like Janai said...if they were meant to be in my life, then they will be there in the end...if not, then I'm not gonna put the extra effort into trying to make them see that I'm worth their time and love.

This is who I am, take it or leave it. If you don't like ME for ME...then I guess it just wasn't meant to happen.

...idk...

this post is mainly because i saw that i had 33 posts and that just drove me INSANE...mainly because odd numbers bother me to death! lol

here's to a great day! i hope everyone's was the just as fantastic as mine! <3

...not so childhood dreams...

I watched the movie Bride Wars tonight (because my plans fell through. again.)
I remember when I first saw the movie in the theater...I went with Alex and we absolutely love, love, loved the movie. We loved it so much! Right after the movie, we went and bought bridal magazines so we could be just like Kate Hudson and Anne Hathaway's characters.

They put together something somewhat like a scrapbook of how they wanted their weddings: flowers, colors schemes, cake, all the way down to the dress. We were going to do the same thing...

Watching this movie tonight reminded me that, unfortunately, we never actually got that far. I don't even think we made it all the way through the bunch of magazines we bought. They're still sitting in her room somewhere. It also reminded me of how close we used to be and it hurts to think that we will probably never be that way again.

But, I know I'll be okay with that. I've been trying with everything I am to try and be 'close' again, but I've decided that I really don't have the energy anymore.

We've both been through a lot since our friendship ended and neither of us quite knows the extent of it. I want it to be like it used to be, but I'm done living in the past...I've even removed most of the stuff from my room and walls that reminded me of high school because I realize that I've grown up and I have better stuff to worry about and think about.

...ok...back to the movie...

At the very end of the film, there's a quote that I once sent to Alex when our problems first began and I'd like to share that with you all tonight.



"Sometimes in life, there really are bonds that are formed that can never be broken. Sometimes you really can find that one person who will stand by you no matter what. Maybe you'll find it in a spouse and celebrate it with your dream wedding...but there is also the chance that the one person you can count on for a lifetime, the one person who knows you, sometimes better than you know yourself, is the same person who's been standing beside you all along."



Of course I still have dreams about how I want my wedding to be, but I guess I'll have to plan them on my own now or with my future 'hubby-to-be'.

In my heart, I know that those memories we shared were some of the best times of my life. But I also know that they are in the past and I'm learning to deal with that...as hard as it may be, I'm learning.

Nursery Time!

Okey dokey...so not many people know this, but I serve in the nursery at church and I absolutely love, Love, LOVE it with all my heart!

I was called about 6 or so months ago. Brother Heist asked me to watch over one of the most loving and adorable boys ever, Tyler :]

They asked me to specifically watch Tyler because he has had problems with biting and hair-pulling (which I have had the pleasure of experiencing firsthand) lol

This boy is sooooooo full of love and is so excited with life. When you hang out with Ty, all you can do is smile because of how sweet he is!!

I'm not sure how old this photo is because I stole it from Kristine's blog...but here's my TyTy :D




I wish I could find more photos of all the kiddos I get to spend 2 amazing hours with every Sunday, but I could only find pictures of Tyler and my favorite Trent.

*I also took this one from Jessica's blog...I believe it said he was 16 months in this pic, but it's still as adorable as ever!!




~I'm startin to think there should be another verse in "There is Sunshine in my Soul Today".

"There are children in my soul today! With lots of smiles and hugs!"

...I can't think of anything else that should go in that verse, but Imma work on it and get back to yall later! lol

All those kiddos are pretty much my best friends in the whole entire world and I love them with my whole heart. They truly bring sunshine into my life.

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

My Testimony

ok...so I've been havin lots of spiritual moments lately, or maybe I've just been in that sort of mood lol

There have been times within the past week that I've just wanted to stand up and shout my testimony of the church and gospel to the world...I just haven't quite figured out how to do that yet, but I figured here would be a good place to start.

I have been looking at videos on youtube that are of some of my most favorite hymns and the following one is my favorite so far:

(be sure to turn off the background music first...)



I know that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is true. I feel it everytime I step foot into the chapel and one of His holy temples. I know that Joseph Smith was a true prophet of God and that he helped to restore the true church on the Earth. I know that Thomas S. Monson is the living prophet on the Earth today. I know that the Book of Mormon is the word of God and it has been such a blessing in my life. And perhaps the most important and prominent part of my testimony is that I KNOW THAT MY REDEEMER LIVES and loves me for me...what more could I ask for? I have truly been blessed.

Who Am I?

I watched an episode of One Tree Hill the other day & it really stuck with me. It was on stereotyping. In the episode, they were asked to describe each other using four words: "geek", "prom queen", "jock", and "friendly" (a nice way of saying they're easy lol)

It got me thinking about which one I would be considered. I don't consider myself to be a "geek" because I'm actually pretty technologically challenged lol I also was neer popular enough to be considered a "prom queen" and I'm not a "jock" because I'm only the manager now. I'm sure as heck not "friendly" either haha

So, what am I? I figured I'd come up with some things that truly describe who I am and what I'm all about...this is what I came up with:

I am LDS and proud of it. I'm the 2nd out of 3 children. A SERIOUS daddy's girl. Music is my safe-haven...where I find the most peace. I <3 LOVE <3 sports with almost everything I am. I enjoy the smell of the gym...one of the most comforting places for me is the basketball court. I love my violin; I wish I had more time to play it because it certainly deserves a day out of the case! lol My two favorite bands are DAUGHTRY and LIFEHOUSE. They're all I listen to at the moment. I don't have any 'best friends'. I used to...but now I don't really talk to anyone other than Stephanie Earhart. I love to run. It's my biggest stress reliever. I'm short...REALLY short...like 5'1" short. I get made fun of all the time for it, but I've learned to take the jokes and run with them :) I'm blonde, but I say I'm brunette...that way I can get away with more "blonde moments" hahaha I absolutely love to read. I wish I had more time for that too...right now, I'm on a Ted Dekker kick & think that everyone should read at least 1 of his books :D My family isn't what I would call "close". It's alwasy been me & daddy, Jennifer & mom. I've lived in the same house for 12 years. I graduated from Pike High School in a class of more than 600, the largest in PHS history so far. The best summer of my life was '08 when I got to go to Italy...I want to go back someday. I HATE rain, snow, sleet, hail..any form of precipitation really lol I despise birds. I think they're disgusting, evil, creepy creatures. My major is sports management, but that probably doesn't surprise anyone. I still attend my home ward...not singles...NOT YET. haha I serve in the nursery. I love this calling with everything I am! Even though I don't attend the singles ward, I do attend institute on wednesdays. It's a total blast and Bro Simpson is the best teacher EVER!!! I sometimes wish i had less acquaintances and more actual friends. I often feel lonely because of it. I've never been in a relationship and I've only been on one date my whole life. I didn't have my first kiss until I was 18 & I'm pretty sure my parents still don't know lol even though I've never been in a relationship, I've discovered that I'm content being single. I can't, however, wait until I can be sealed in the temple for time and all eternity...to have a family :D I want to have lots of kids (hopefully a lot of boys haha) My favorite color is green. I don't wear a lot of jewelry or carry a purse...it makes me feel too girly. Most importanly, I am a child of God.

I could go on & on about me, but I'll spare everyone lol

I have come to a conclusion about those four words: "geek", "prom queen", "jock", and "friendly"...I am NONE of those.

I'M JUST ME. and that's all I really want to be!!! :]